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  • Valentines is over, do i still date my wife

Valentine’s is Over, Should I Still Date My Wife?

I wonder if there are husbands that are asking the question, Valentines is over, should I still date my wife?  The answer is a huge YES!  The benefits far outweigh the costs. I would like to hear what people think on this subject, so please put your comments below.

On February 14th of this year, my wife and I did what many married couples did. We had a date. Frankly it was great! Red Lobster, shrimp, steak, salad, desert, all the stuff that makes for a great meal. We laughed, we enjoyed each other, and then we came home and watched a movie.  It was so special! However, the feeling of special came from the fact that my wife of almost 39 years was with me.  I know this is a little weird but I counted the number of pictures in my phone that came from special times with my wife. I have 100 such pictures. Some of them are from years ago, but I pull up those pictures and can remember where we were at and what we were doing.  Shouldn’t we continue to make wonderful memories our whole life?

If you are a believer in Jesus, your marriage should be of utmost importance to you. I believe that one of the things that helps keep a marriage strong is dating.  Guys Here are some of the reasons you should say to yourself, “Yes! I will regularly and consistently date my wife.”

  1. It is fun.

When I was a youth, I loved Larry Norman’s song, “Why should the devil have all the good music?” With that in mind I humbly ask this question, “Why should singles have all the fun?”  Going places and doing things is fun.

Besides that, dating is how many of us fell in love. Yes, I did fall in love  back in Worthington, Minnesota, driving around the lake with Jureen. There wasn’t a lot to do in that small town, so we went to Country Kitchen, snuck to the movies (a whole other story), and would frequently go ice skating or spend time at the lake. We bought Schwinn bicycles as well and went riding. Sometimes we just went to the Eckerson’s and hung out with Paul and Tim.  Anyhow, it was fun. And dating reminds me of the reason I married Jureen. I like being with her! It’s fun!

That is why I date my wife.  That is why you should date your wife.  Having fun together allows you to get over the relational bumps and bruises that come from married life.  I can assure you that laughter and fun causes the stress of raising kids, and making a living to disappear rapidly.  If we don’t make room for such activities now, when will do so?

  1. It prioritizes the relationship.

Guys, when you take your wife to dinner, and focus your complete attention and affection upon her, it makes her feel like she is important.  It tells her that she is still a priority.  I know a lot of spouses think, those days should be over, we should be content to just stay home, and why should we go to all the fuss.

Let’s face it, when both spouses work, and you are involved in service to Jesus, and have kids to raise and lawns to mow, and clothes to wash, it is easy to start taking each other for granted.  The older you get, and the longer you are married, the easier it is to make other things a priority.  I was taught and teach others this order of priority for our lives.

First priority: our personal relationship with Jesus Christ

Second priority: our spouses

Third priority: our kids

Fourth priority: our jobs

Fifth priority: our church and ministry

Frankly, It’s easy for me to get my priorities out of whack!  I look back on seasons where dating my wife completely fell off my priority list.   I have lived through all the stages of life: Married and going to College, kids at home, traveling at times, adult kids in college.  And every stage of life will give you a different reason why you can’t date your spouse.  If you need a babysitter but can’t afford one, find another couple and trade babysitting duties.  Don’t have any money? That’s okay? There is a lot of stuff that is cheap to do. Google it people! Figure it out! A walk in the park holding and hands and sharing hearts sounds pretty romantic and its free!

One of my best stories is when my kids were still at home in high school.  Jureen and I were headed out for a date, and my son accused me of loving Jureen more than them.  Well, I explained,  “I can’t say I love her more, I just love her differently.”  And I did explain that a day will come when we will not have you hear, and we want to be just as close. Dating your wife makes her a priority

  1. It takes effort and shows your spouse you still love them.

When people make an effort it ought to be noticed.  Guys, When we date our spouses, we really shouldn’t just say, uh duh, whatcha’ wanna do now? We ought to have a plan.  We ought to try new things. We ought to go to new places. If our wives see the effort they will appreciate it.

One time while living in Costa Rica, I put Christmas lights on the ceiling of a little room with a balcony that opened up, and set a romantic table and even cooked the food, for a  stay at home date. Jureen saw the effort and appreciated it.  She even said the food was good. That is what we call grace.

Guys, remember this. It is a lot more work for her to get ready than for you. Sometimes she has to get four people ready.  Herself, and the three kids to go to grandma’s house.  So we ought to pitch in and do whatever is necessary to make it happen!

Frankly I am glad I am a guy! Seriously! I don’t think I would have the patience to put on all that makeup and curl my hair, let alone trying to get into panty hose.  It takes a lot of effort for a woman in comparison to a man. Guys we ought to be grateful when our wives put in all that effort to look great for us.

It shouldn’t be that the only time we tell our wives we love them is when they are in pearls and heels! But it definitely should be at least one of the times we do. And I guess I am a little old fashioned. I like to open up the door for my wife, and escort her in.

Here are a couple of other reasons.

4. It teaches your kids how to treat their spouses.

5.  You can post your date on Facebook to tell the world how much she means to ya. Just saying!

I still date my wife.  Hey, Jureen? Would you go out with me?

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About the Author:

Bob Millsaps is a graduate of North Central Bible College in Minneapolis, Minnesota and the pastor of Fountain of Life Christian Center in Houston, Texas. He is happily married to his wife Jureen and they have three sons, and one grandaughter. Bob has served the Assemblies of God as a missionary, pastor, youth pastor, and evangelist. Bob currently resides in Katy, Texas

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